When two people fall in love and decide to form a couple, from the very first steps, they face problems. Surely those problems are very small, but if partners can’t resolve them, then, with time, they accumulate and may even ruin relationships. This happens because, due to differences, people in couples face a wide range of various challenges and stresses since the very first moment of living together. Every single couple faces these problems. So, there are no exceptions. Today we are now going to talk about reasons why this happens, but we will discuss one of the greatest ways to deal with all those problems.
Today, we are going to discuss couples therapy and ways how it may help you in your relationships. Too many people underestimate their efficiency. Some of us even fear to attend the therapy. Without a single doubt, those people are wrong. When you will find a perfect woman, and your times of searching for overseas brides will be over, you can’t expect that you won’t have to pay efforts to work on your relationships. You will have to be calm and strong to deal with all those quarrels ad stresses that are waiting for you. You can’t allow your positive emotions and feelings to disappear. However, sometimes, people simply can’t do it on their own. In such cases, they ask for professional help.
Signs that you need couples therapy
To put it simply, you need couples therapy when you understand that you can’t resolve some of your problems. Unfortunately, quite often, people have a hard time understanding that. It is never easy to realize and accept our mistakes, but it will be very important for the success of the therapy. Understanding that people begin to fear the therapy, and at any cost, they try to avoid it. Usually, the price of this fear is very high, and people break up or get divorced. Here, it is crucial to understand that the majority of relationships can be saved, but partners must understand when they need professional help.
1. You have unhealthy fights
Without a single doubt, for romantic partners, it is absolutely normal to have quarrels from time to time. Even in healthy relationships, almost everything can serve as a reason for one. However, the main difference between healthy and unhealthy quarrels is that in the first case, you will find a solution to a problem that causes a quarrel. While in the second case, you not only won’t fix a problem but also will insult or offend each other. So, unhealthy quarrels are one of the first signs that you need therapy.
2. You have problems with respect
Another clear sign that you need couples therapy is that you have problems with respect in your relationship. You see, normally two people in love always respect each other. Surely, sometimes you will disagree or even may feel annoyed by your partner. However, you should never stop respecting each other. Therefore, if for whatever reason, you feel that your partner doesn’t respect you or you begin to understand that you don’t respect him or her anymore, then you definitely need to try couples therapy. After all, what do you have to lose?
3. You can’t find common ground
Happy romantic relationships are not about thinking and living in the same way with your partner. It is about adjusting and adapting to each other for the sake of your happiness and future. Consequently, your ability to find common ground is crucial when it comes to building healthy romantic relationships. If you have problems with this aspect, and you see that you can’t fix it by yourself, you should definitely try couples therapy. A professional will help you to find reasons for this.
4. You have problems with personal space
Personal space is another important aspect of every healthy relationship. No matter how strongly you love your partner, sometimes you both need to have time apart from each other. Furthermore, you still need to have something that will be only yours, for example, your and only your laptop or something else. Literary, it can be anything. Unfortunately, a clingy partner, may not allow you to have a personal space. Gladly, this small problem can be resolved before it causes permanent damage to your relationship.
5. You have weak emotional bonds
It is obvious that healthy emotional bonds won’t’ appear very fast. Forming them will take some time and effort. Unfortunately, some couples, even after years of living together, still have weak connections and bonds. Can they keep living like that? Surely! After all, humans can adapt to everything. However, we can’t say that those people are going to be happy. Therefore, if you see that you and your partner can’t form emotional bonds by yourselves, it will be wise to ask a professional for help.
The main benefits of couples therapy
So, now you clearly understand that you need couples therapy, but what can you expect from it? Maybe you can fix everything by yourself? First of all, we recommend you to attend couples therapy only when you understand that you can’t resolve your problems on your own. Secondly, in couples therapy, it is very important to find a nice professional who knows how to do his or her job. And thirdly, here we will share with you the main benefits of couples therapy. Thus, you will know what you can expect from a real professional.
1. You will stop blaming each other
Most frequently, when partners come to couples therapy, they start complaining and blaming each other. In the best-case scenario, both partners can calmly listen to each other and accept that they both have different views. However, most frequently, partners begin to quarrel when it comes to accepting blames. As you have guessed, in most cases, both sides are somewhat right and wrong. A good professional will find the seeds of truth and will teach both of you to accept each other’s views when they are right.
2. You will learn the root reasons for your unhealthy quarrels
As we have already said, even the happiest couples in the world, sometimes have quarrels. It is obvious that healthy quarrels always end with a solution to a problem. In turn, unhealthy quarrels never end with solutions, and they only accumulate to arise again and again. This is a very complex problem. After all, you will have to perform at least three tasks to deal with it. The first one is to find the main problem that caused a quarrel. The second one is to find a way to resolve the problem. And the third task is not to offend or insult your partner. A good therapist will help you with each task.
3. You will learn to focus on your contribution to your relationship
In healthy romantic relationships, both partners equally contribute to their love. We always tend to see problems in others. As a rule, in unhealthy relationships partners, always blame each other for all the problems they have. For this very reason, they also frequently try to change each other. Of course, this approach will only lead to additional problems and will result in a breakup. Couples therapy will help you to stop blaming your partner for not contributing enough. You and your partner both will focus on your own contributions to your romantic relationships.
4. You will learn to listen to each other
At the beginning of the relationship, the partners are usually attentive and patient to each other. Also, even if there is a lack of understanding, they are ready to calmly talk about it, listen to each other, acknowledge the feelings and legitimacy of the arguments of the other side.
However, with time, in unhealthy relationships, people begin to have more intense emotional reactions and lose their ability to listen to each other. One of the main goals of couples therapy is to teach both partners to listen to each other, even if they strongly disagree.
5. Will analyze the impact of family stories
Each person enters into a relationship with his aspirations and dreams, as well as with his old grievances, pain, and fears. This is because humans are very complex beings. We learn things from other people all our lives. Sometimes we even adapt whole behavioral patterns from our partners. Sadly, quite often, those patterns are pretty harmful to romantic relationships. Couples therapy will help you and your partners to find those adopted patterns and deal with them. Therefore, you both will learn to even furthermore adapt and adjust to each other. When we enter romantic relationships with other people, we all have our expectations and desires. Most frequently, those never fully match. This is why both partners must be willing to adapt to each other. Building long-term relationships are not about passionate feelings and drama. It is about your ability to search for compromises. Remember, a good therapist will never judge you. He or she will never directly tell you who is wrong and who is writing in your case. A professional will help both of you to understand your own mistakes and fix them. This is not going to happen very fast, so be ready to work on yourself for the sake of your romantic relationship.